Home Language HacksDutch 33 Eye-Wateringly Funny Dutch Phrases and Idioms [Infographic]

33 Eye-Wateringly Funny Dutch Phrases and Idioms [Infographic]

by Michele
17 comments
Funny Dutch Phrases and Dutch idioms
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If you ain’t Dutch you ain’t much! They say roughly 30% of our everyday speech is made up of expressions. Well, the Dutch probably use closer to 90%! Here are 33 Dutch phrases and idioms to get you started.

There are 16.99 million Dutchies across the globe and a further 28 millions of Dutch descent. Despite the longest word in the Dutch dictionary ‘Meervroudigepersoonlijkheidsstoornissen‘ (meaning ‘multiple personality disorder’) weighing in at 38 letters, they don’t speak ‘double Dutch’.

Apparently, Dutch is one of the easiest languages to grasp if you’re an English speaker and even easier if you speak German, but you might need some ‘dutch courage’ to attempt pronouncing all their guttural-sounding ‘g’s.

Since learning Afrikaans, I’ve discovered a bunch of hilarious Afrikaans expressions. But, they can’t take all the credit for these linguistic gems. Afrikaans is actually the offspring of the Dutch language which formed after the Dutch settled in South Africa in 1652.

If you’re heading to South African, make sure you get my free Afrikaans travel phrase guide and if you’re going to Belgium, then I also have a Flemish Dutch travel phrase guide.

So, all this hilarity actually comes from the Dutch. It’s interesting to note that there are still a lot of expressions and general vocabulary which are exactly the same in both languages. There are some modifications to the Afrikaans versions which include either historical or geographical references.

When I came across the Afrikaans expressions ‘ń Klap van die windmeul weg‘, literally ‘to be hit by windmill’ meaning ‘to act crazy / unintelligent’ I wanted to learn more! Despite there being no windmills in South Africa, this expression went unchanged from its original Dutch form ‘Een slag van den molen weg hebbe’.

I’ve found countless examples of amusing expressions, insults and, vocabulary oftentimes with equally funny or interesting origins. I do love a bit of etymology so I’ve included some of them where known.

The Dutch love expressions and will litter their everyday conversations with them. Just when you think you’ve learned them all, all of a sudden you hear about someone ‘having butter on their head’ or ‘falling into the house with a door’.

Confused? We’re just getting started!

Here are my 33 favourite funny Dutch idioms and expressions. For the infographic, scroll to the bottom of the page.

Happy reading!

1. To fall with the door into the house

Translation: Met de deur in huis vallen
Meaning: To get straight to the point

2. As if an angel is peeing on your tongue

Translation: Alsof er een engeltje over je tong piest
Meaning: Someone who is really enjoying their meal

3. Now the monkey comes out of the sleeve

Translation: Nu komt de aap uit de mouw
Meaning: Similar to the English expression “to let the cat out of the bag”; the moment that a hidden motive or the truth behind something is revealed.

Origin: In the past, street artists would often perform tricks by hiding a monkey in their coats. At the end of the performance the monkey would “come out of the sleeve” and reveal the trick!

4. It’s raining pipe-stems

Translation: Het regent pijpenstelen
Meaning: Similar to the English expression “to rain cats and dogs”; to rain a lot. Since it rains a lot in the Netherlands, there are equally A LOT of expressions about rain.

Het regent koeiestaarten
It’s raining cow tails!

Het regent bakstenen
It’s raining bricks!

Het regent scheermessen
It’s raining razors!

Het regent telegraafdraden
It’s raining telegraph wires!

Het regent kopjes en schoteltjes
It’s raining cups and saucers!

5. He who has butter on this head should stay out of the sun

Translation: Wie boter op zijn hoofd heeft, moet uit de zon blijven
Meaning: Similar to the English expression “People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones”. You should not criticise other unless yourself are without fault.

Origin: The phrase is said to have been around since the 17th century, as it was found in a text by the famous Dutch poet Jacob Cats (1577-1660). The reference is unknown, but it may refer to a time when people would carry their groceries in baskets on their heads.

6. To fall with your nose in butter

Translation: Met zijn neus in de boter vallen
Meaning: To be at the right place at the right time

7. To buy a cat in the bag

Translation: Een kat in de zak kopen
Meaning: To have been duped into buying something without inspecting it properly

8. Did you fall down the stairs?

Translation: Ben je van de trap gevallen?
Meaning: A Dutch person might ask you this odd question if you have had a rather drastic haircut

Origin: The original version of the expression ‘Hijs is van de trap gevallen en heeft zijn haar gebroken’ (He feel down the stairs and broke this hair) was already in use in the 18th century.

9. Hand shoes

Translation: Handschoenen
Meaning: Gloves

10. Clean mother

Translation: Schoonmoeder
Meaning: Mother-in-law

Origin: The actual origin likely has little to do with the subject of cleanliness and more to do with the lesser know meaning of the word ‘schoon’ meaning beautiful/fair. Similar to the French term belle-mere, schoonmoeder thus refers to your ‘beloved’ mother-in-law.


Going to the Netherlands? Get my free Dutch travel phrase guide


11. Toilet glasses

Translation: Toiletbril
Meaning: Toilet seat

Origin: Some would say that the ‘bril’ part comes from the shape of the toilet seat which resembles a spectacle of sorts hovering over the ‘eye’ of the toilet bowl. Another explanation could be it’s referencing the ‘shelf’ inside dutch toilets (instead of a water-filled bowl) which serves as a platter to display the contents of your bowels for closer examination. Yep, I’m grossed out too!

12. Peanut cheese

Translation: Pindakaas
Meaning: Peanut butter

Origin: The oldest use of the Dutch word ‘pindakaas’ dates from 1855. The word ‘piendakass’ appeared in the Surinamese dictionary at this time and referred to a large block of crushed peanuts that locals slices in a similar way to that of a block of cheese and ate on bread. Peanut butter, as we know it, was introduced to the Dutch market by the brand Calvé in 1948. However, it was not possible to market it under the name of ‘pindaboter’ due to the ‘Butterlaw’. This ‘Butterlaw’ stipulated that only butter could call itself butter. Dutch peanut butter was thus marketed as ‘pindakaas’.

13. Nail pants

Translation: Spijkerbroek
Meaning: Jeans

Origin: To understand the origins of this linguistic riddle we need to go back to the mid-1800 gold rush days when Bavarian immigrant Levi Strauss developed a pair of sturdy denim overalls for miners in San Francisco. Levi partnered with the tailor, Jacob David who suggested the final critical ingredient in making the pants even sturdier: nails! By bolting the material together at the seams with rivets the two entrepreneurs designed the perfect pants that we still wear today!

14. Butter ham

Translation: Boterham
Meaning: Sandwich

Origin: While the origin of ‘boterham’ is unclear, let me share this story with you.
Once upon a time there was a man named John Montagu (1718-1792) who was a ferocious gambler. During marathon gambling sessions he was said to eat slices of cold meat between bread in order to avoid taking breaks to eat a proper meal. Mt Montagu happened to also be the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, thus the name of this odd snack took hold.

15. Donkey’s bridge

Translation: Ezelsbruggetje
Meaning: Mnemonic. A system of rhymes, rules, phrases, diagrams, acronyms and other devices which help you to learn and remember information. For example, most English-speakers know of the man named: Roy G Biv. The letters of his names spelling out the order of colours of the rainbow.

Origin: Donkeys are particularly fearful of water, so to get a donkey to cross the countryside it was often necessary to build temporary planks bridges over gaps and ditches, creating handy shortcuts. This is how Ezelsbruggetje came to mean memory tricks using shortcuts. Once a donkey finds his way over water the first time, it never forgets its route again.

16. Shield toad

Translation: Schildpad
Meaning: Turtle

17. Lazy horse

Translation: Luipaard
Meaning: Leopard

18. Sea wolf

Translation: Zeewolf
Meaning: Catfish

19. Belt animal

Translation: Gordeldier
Meaning: Armadillo

20. Garden snake

Translation: Tuinslang
Meaning: Hose

21. Fire snake

Translation: Brandslang
Meaning: Fire hose

22. Horse flower

Translation: Paardenbloem
Meaning: Dandelion

23.To sit with your mouth full of teeth

Translation: Met de mond vol tanden staan
Meaning: To be speechless.

24. To walk on one’s gums

Translation: Op zijn tandvlees lopen
Meaning: To be exhausted

25. To sit like herrings in a barrel

Translation: Als haringen in een ton zitten
Meaning: To be crowded
Fish are part of numerous Dutch idioms. For example, it is also not unusual to say someone is ‘as healthy as a fish’ (zo gezond als een vis). The herring, in particular is a traditional food and herring season is an annual event.

26. To have something under the knee

Translation: Iets onder de knie hebben
Meaning: To possess in-depth knowledge of something, to master it.
Origin: The expression first suggested dominating an opponent in a fight and, over time, its meaning extended to things one can learn.

27. Cucumber time

Translation: Komkommertijd
Meaning: This term refers to the quiet summer period when little happens.
Origin: Traditionally, farmers were busy during the summer months, but other businesses had nothing to do. More and more this term is used to refer to the lack of news or activity.

28. Talking about little cows and little calves

Translation: Praten over koetjes en kalfjes
Meaning: Meaning that you are chatting about nothing of importance or nothing in particular.

29. I can’t make any chocolate from that

Translation: Daar kan ik geen chocola van maken
Meaning: Similar to the English expression ‘It’s all Greek to me’; indicating that you can’t understand something.

30. What have I got hanging on my bike now?

Translation: Wat heb ik nou aan mijn fiets hangen?
Meaning: This is a way of saying “What’s going on now?” or “What do I have to deal with now?”

Origin: Cycling is the most common means of transportation in Holland. Many people go their entire life without owning a car.

31. We will certainly get that piglet washed

Translation: We zullen dat varkentje wel even wassen
Meaning: That you will take care of something, fix something or get the job done.

32. Get a fresh nose

Translation: En frisse neus halen
Meaning: To go outside and get some fresh air.

33. Now my wooden shoe is breaking!

Translation: Nu breekt mijn klomp!
Meaning: To be totally amazed or not expect something


Visiting the Netherlands? Check out my Netherlands city guides

Watch these 10 Hilarious Dutch Idioms

Like it? Pin it for later?

dutch phrases and idioms infographic


Want to improve your Dutch? Visit my handy language resource guide.

Plus, if you want to know how the experts learn languages,  I asked 11 top polyglots to share their language learning secrets. Find out how they start learning a new language, overcome plateaus, and maintain multiple languages.


Sources Excerpts taken from Stuff Dutch People Say


Over to you!

Which of these funny Dutch phrases did you like this most? Speak Dutch? What other Dutch idioms and phrases would you add?
Let me know using the comments section below or join me on social media to start a conversation.

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17 comments

David B April 24, 2022 - 17:29

Another watery expression that I found in an NOS news item in October 2021 criticising a piece of housing policy:
(I guess it is not quite so hilarious as some but comes surely from deep within Dutch heritage).
literally: “[That] puts no sods on the dyke”
Dutch: “[dat] zet keen zoden aan de dijk”
Meaning: that is no solution; that is no good; that solves nothing.

Reply
Michele April 27, 2022 - 14:08

Thanks for sharing :)

Reply
David B April 24, 2022 - 17:13

surprised that someone has not in 5 years suggested that “een kat in een zak kopen” is more like “buy a pig in a poke” in English. Poke being a dialect word for a bag or sack, that is current in Scotland.
Meaning the same as the Dutch – to buy something that turns out to be worth nothing, an outright liability, but certainly far less than you thought, having not looked closely before buying.

Reply
Michele April 27, 2022 - 14:08

Thanks David :)

Reply
Sjoukje January 25, 2021 - 16:23

“Dit muisje heeft een lange staartje!” My mother from Amsterdam, told me about this one, which means “to have a longer than expected recovery from an injury, or to have long lasting unforeseen consequences of some action.” Also, when there was frost on the windows, they would call them “bloemen op de glazen,” literally: iceflowers.

Reply
Michele January 27, 2021 - 11:53

These are fantastic! Thank you for sharing. I especially love the imagery of ‘ice flowers’ :)

Reply
Merle January 8, 2021 - 15:25

Thanks for that! I learned a couple of new ones there. I’ve lived in NL 30 years and I’m an utter Nederphile.

I made the word ‘Nederphile’ up after being mortified that it does not already exist. After all, we have Anglophile and Francophile, in my humble opinion, The Dutch deserve this moniker too.

A fantastic, pragmatic people. When my countryfolk ask me what the Dutch are like; I always tell them; “Just like us, only better looking and better organised!”

Reply
Wilbert van der Linden April 20, 2020 - 14:13

Hi Michele,
Great post! I’m dutch myself and might have another for your collection,
“You never know how a cow catches a hare” wich translates into “je weet nooit hoe een koe een haas vangt”
The frase is used when faced by a situation where the outcome of your actions is unsure, but you still go for it, regardless.

Reply
Michele April 22, 2020 - 21:08

This is awesome! Thanks for sharing Wilbert :)

Reply
Anita Rutgers April 8, 2020 - 09:41

My parents said “Ga op het dak zitten” which translates as “Go sit on the roof” and means “that’s ridiculous, silly, I don’t believe you”

Another one was “nachtvlinder” which translates as “night butterfly” and in English means “night owl” as in someone who stays up late.

Reply
Michele April 22, 2020 - 21:10

These are so great! Thank you so much for sharing, Anita: )

Reply
John March 12, 2020 - 17:37

How about adding this Dutch expression: schrijf een engelse brief

According to my Dutch family (sister and brother in law), “to write an English letter” means to take a nap.

Do I detect a hint of truth about English people in that expression? :-)

Reply
Michele March 17, 2020 - 17:53

Haha I’ve not heard of that one. Thanks, John!

Reply
Al Lewis November 12, 2020 - 02:54

Make the cat wise! Meaning not even the cat will believe you!

Reply
Harry Lenzing September 4, 2019 - 23:10

My Mother was from Hindeloopen. She used to say:
“Wie dan kom, dan zork” It may be Frisian or Hylpers. To us it meant “When that time comes, THEN we’ll worry ! “)

Reply
Michele September 5, 2019 - 15:05

Thanks so much for sharing this, Harry :)

Reply
Basil Pereira January 15, 2017 - 19:58

That was very good. Quite a few are the same in Afrikaans like you said but everything just sounds funnier in Dutch. Thanks for another great post. Can’t wait for the next one.

Reply

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